At the Moment....

 This is a post that I did on my other blog behindthebook-jeretta.blogspot.com.  I wrote it when I was having a bit of down time.  Thankfully, I have gotten far beyond that time....later I'll give you a response on what I was thinking at the time and how things have changed.....

Okay..so here is the way it is people.  Sometimes, life simply sucks!!!  It's not that it sucks all the time, just when it feels a bit overwhelming.  The last couple of weeks have been fairly stressful and exhausting.  My dear and wonderful friend, Shawna, was killed in a car accident on February 16th.  She was only 17.  How do I even begin to describe Shawna?!  She was a young, beautiful girl that truly lived for God.  She served in the youth group I used to work with in Winchester.  She was always fun and caring and extremely hilarious!  She loved kids and definitely had passion for children's ministry.  She was goofy and fun-loving.  She had a beautiful voice and was the kind of person that could make your day a little brighter.  When she died, it was like the world stopped for a moment.  It was absolutely heart-breaking.  From the moment I learned of her death until this past week, I've cried over her.  She had SO MUCH potential and it's hard to let go of "what could have been..."  I know that in the end, she is so much happier right now.  There is not a doubt that she is rocking out in Heaven.  But here's the thing about all of it.  I don't want Shawna to be remembered as simply a statistic of a teen-age driver who was killed in a car accident.  I want her life to be more than that.  I hope that the passion and fire for God she left on others will continue to grow and spread.  Shawna lived life to the fullest and never backed down.  She was deeply in love with Jesus and I hope that I can learn how to live like that.

One week after Shawna's death, my dad had to have emergency triple bypass surgery.  That was terrifying.  But God brought him through it and I'm so thankful!  He still has a long way to go, but he is recovering well and I know that it's all because of God.  Yet, with all the good, bad comes to.  Financial problems are looming ahead and there does not seem to be an easy solution.  I know that God will work it out somehow, but I just can't see the solution at the moment...

On top of that, there is two weeks worth of homework that I haven't done and am struggling to finish and all the homework I need to get a head on thanks to Comps.

I just wonder sometime, why we have to struggle so much.  It just seems as though, people sometimes, have it easy.  They don't have the same problems and may never have to face them in their lifetimes.  Sometimes I just want to shout, "God, why is all this happening!?  What did I do wrong?!  Why?!  Please, help me!"  But, then I'm reminded of Job.  All his friends and even his wife told him their "theories" and what he should do about them.  Then God just let them all know that HE has the plan, HE knows the reason, HE is almighty and HE is always there.  Just like Job, my need to shout at that point is stopped and I am silenced.  Who am I to question God or why things happen the way they do?  I think it's human nature to question things, especially bad things.  But that doesn't mean that there will always be a nice clean answer waiting on you there.  Sometimes, you just have deal with what is in front of you and pray for God's strength and comfort.