Doing my best...

So I now how have my new job and I have to admit, it's not what I originally thought it would be.  But everyday I'm loving it more and more.  I'm learning to do new things and even if they seem like they are mundane, they are important to make sure that we are absolute best that we can be.  Now, I just need to find another job to help support myself. 

Life has been super weird recently.  I am trying to get over this break-up that ended badly.  It's just so hurtful to know that he didn't care about me or about our relationship.  That I was basically nothing to him.  Just someone to be with until someone better comes along.  And I absolutely hate this!  He's out there being with the girl he cheated on me with while I'm stuck being alone.  That is not the way it should work.  He cheated, he was wrong, he hurt me and yet he's the one who is so happy in a new relationship.  I know that this may sound selfish, but what about me?!  In this scenario shouldn't I be the one who actually gets to be happy?!  I just wonder when it'll be my turn.  I've seen all my friends get married and be happy and I just wonder when it'll be the one to actually get what I want. 

On a more different note, I have decided to finally pursue my dream.  Currently, I've been working on one "iten" and have started another.  I also have a third one that I'm going to start soon.  But the first one is nearly finished and ready to be sent off.  Hopefully it'll go well!!!  I'll keep you posted!!

A little experiment.....

Disappointment comes in all shapes and forms and has no bias as to when it will occur.  For instance:  I recently was offered a job.  It's only part-time, but it's doing something that I love.  However, once I got the job, I was told by several people that the job didn't offer good pay or include benefits and that I should set my hopes and dreams on this job.  However, I'm still thrill that in today's economy, I could even get a job.  And right now, it's part time, but that means that I'm at least getting my foot in the door and it will hopefully lead to something more or will allow me to work two part-time jobs.

Also, I will be graduating this weekend.  That's right folks, I am getting my Master's degree.  So you would think that's a big deal right and that everyone would be excited?!?!?  WRONG!  Everyone is either too busy or simply can't be bothered with the small detail of celebrating my minor success to attend my graduation ceramony.  Do you realize how heart-breaking that is?!  To have the people that you care about really not "give a crap" about what's going on!  But oh, well.  So all of this has made me step back and take a look at few things.  I'm usually the one to ask people to do something or text them first.  I don't really get texts from people unless they need something or are calling to see if I'm going to show up for something. 

Due to this realization, I have decided to perform a small experiement.  I am cutting myself off from all contact.  I will speak to those that I see, those that call or those that text first!  I will not communicate through Facebook or send out text messages.  I will not call.  I will not speak unless spoken to first.  Basically, I'm putting myself on lock-down.  I will keep my mouth closed and communication to a minimum.  Then I'll see just how long it takes for them to realize that I have stopped communication.  They may never realized it.  And if they don't, then that will simply prove that I wasn't much of a friend in their world anyway.  I'm not going to lie:  this scares me.  I hate being alone and the thought of secluding myself is not an awesome prospect.  But I'm hoping to grow myself as a person and in my relationship with God.  It's definitely going to be a challenge...so I'll let you know how it goes!  Wish me luck!!